Flagstaff Adult Prom: Come creative

So here's the thing, as some of the interviewees were saying, if you are Japanese, or came to Japan after you were born else where and raised 100% or close to 100% of the time in Japan, and particularly if you look like a Japanese person, that would make a big difference mostly in a negative way as you live in the society. As I am a Japanese person born and raised most of my life in Japan, went to Japanese schools and worked in Japanese companies as an adult, being gay was such a burden and headache as a Japanese person. Reason being I know is Japanese people around you will look and understand you as a Japanese person, which automatically has an assumption and certain unspoken expectations that you are supposed to know, act, think and behave as everyone else, having the same way of thinking and values, fitting into their (our) historical traditions and cultural background and so on. So this is their expectations of you and if you are a man, they ask you whether you have a girlfriend or are married with a women and have kids. (If you are a woman, the same thing with the opposite sex) So because I know exactly this is the way the narrow mentality works with our Japanese society, it is such a huge burden to either come out or hide in the closet. Either way, you will be stressed dealing with the hard reality. If you come out, you will need to deal with some people who are homophobic or not necessarily homophobic but ignorance because of lack of understanding, knowledge or mindfulness. If you are not out then you will need to either pretend that you are one of them (straight) and/or keep avoiding at all cost not to engage in any personal conversations or getting close to them. That's how I had to live as a closeted person and it was super stressful on top of already stressful job working in a Japanese company. For that reason, I determined to move away from Japan and come to Canada when I was just about 20 years old and eventually my whole family got influenced and decided to move to Canada in 1994, which when I turned 26 that year. I happened to come out to my family just before we moved to Canada and that made my life much easier because I already had a boyfriend back then. After coming to Canada (Vancouver), my life was much better and so much weight lifted off my shoulders. Such a liberation and I was super happy to be part of LGB (back then I think there were only 3 recognized letters) community. But I was hired by a Japanese company much later in year 2005 and I had to move back to Japan (Tokyo) for my new job. I new what I signed up for, I knew I had to go back to the closet but because I knew I wasn't going to stay in Japan no more than 3 years, I made my decision to do so for the sake of my career. I was so wrong! It was so hard right from the get go. On the 1st day of my job, a younger employee asked me at the first introduction to each other, in front of other coworkers whether I was married or if not if I had a girl friend. I was so stunned about this unexpected question, I didn't know what to answer but my quick wit activated and responded, I barely know you and why am I being asked this kind of private question? But this guy didn't really get it and he went on asking me like this, So by any chance you could be one of those people...? (implying being gay) how dare he?! I knew he meant no harm but asking me in a very friendly way, (as he was younger than me so naturally he needed to still respect me as I was older than him) Then I responded, I'm not answering to those kind of questions but I wonder the reason you asked me that question is because you could be one of those people?? Then he suddenly refused profusely and I said, See, you don't like this kind of question either. So I was able to avoid going further with my smart ass response. LOL. Then another incident happened when I was working at my desk in the office one day. A senior female employee who was older than myself by quite a bit, and she was rather obnoxiously loud and nosey person in general, she had to ask me loudly in front of other employees in the office whether I had a partner or married. I really wanted to kill her but instead, I got up and walked to her desk, went to her ear whispered saying, I can answer to your question. I do have someone in Canada. (Of course that was all lie) Then I went back to my desk and sat down. Guess what she did, as I expected, she once again, had to let everyone know in the office with her annoying loud ass voice, So he says, he has someone in Canada, everyone!. I was actually in joy she let the whole world know that I am taken and settled. End of story! So after that incident, I didn't get anymore question or funny looks from female employees...etc. Only time other than this incident that I still had to deal with was then president of the company who actually brought me to the company in Japan, asked me in private saying, Are you married? If not, there is someone I could introduce to so please let me know!. I'm sure by now, if you are not familiar with a Japanese company and people in Japan, this is very normal for many people that they go through in daily bases. This is absolutely so strange and rather invasive or rude stuff if these things would happen in your countries. So I had learned what to say in certain situations and how to avoid wisely...etc. But at the end of this opportunity, working in Japan, there was nothing but stress, stress not being able to who I was, not being able to have freedom nor time to be free, work overloaded, hardly had anyone to talk to, being lonely living in a giant city all alone and missing my home in Canada. Way before I was able to find out my mental state, my body showed a sign and because of so much stress over time, I got shingles one day and the doctor stopped me from going to work all together for a month. I had a mixed feeling of guilt not executing my important job suddenly yet having a break from everything and focusing on resting, my body and my soul. During that month of off work, I had a lot of thinking and had to decide whether going back again to the same O or going back to Vancouver, Canada for good. It was the latter because I knew if I picked the first choice, I would get sick again and then what? I also missed being who I was(am), I missed everything in Vancouver so I gave my resignation to the president after working with them only for exact 1 year. I didn't expect myself either that it was that short but my body and mind didn't allow me to go on so what could I do. I appreciate everything I experienced and learned while I was in Tokyo but I wouldn't want to go back to the same life style ever again. I know this is super long already but if this was a foreign employee, this wouldn't be the same. This is my point I wanted to say, if you are well recognizable foreigner, even if you were born but look just like a Gaijin or foreigner, they have different perspective and expectation about you. even if there's something wrong to their mind and what they see you about who and what you are, they can be more tolerant and will overlook whatever that may be because at the end of the day, You are foreigner.. That's it!! It's simple as it is. So there are so many things you can get away just because you are foreigner although they don't necessarily like it, they will try to ignore that or avoid the confrontation with you because they don't know how to communicate with you. Period. Most Japanese people would rather avoid discussion or even small talk if they don't know how to express themselves or if they think there is a risk of being conflicted or it might become confrontational. The behaviour of avoiding is very common in Japan even between a couple!! So enough said about being a gay Japanese and being a non-Japanese gay person living in Japan. Thanks for reading thus far! :hand-purple-blue-peace::goodvibes::virtualhug:

practicing prior and holy virtues