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Let me put it this way - how can a therapist know whether your gay or not? Obviously they can not. The bottom line is you can obsess over anything and it doesn’t definitely mean it is not true. For example I had a patient who had ocd about her relationship - constantly thinking about the idea she was with the wrong person. My job is not to tell her whether this is true or not but rather to help her to stop obsessing so she can actually do what is right for her rather than determined by her ocd. As she got better at letting go of her obsessions she actually decided to break up with her boyfriend - not out of fear but out of choice. Similarly I have worked with a young man who had obsessions about his sexual orientation- he now knows he is gay - this makes it hard for him to treat his other obsessions as unimportant information as he thinks if one obsession could be ‘real’ then his other obsessions must be real too. Tricky.

I feel like the concept of not even having a one-on-one conversation with a friend of the opposite sex is a little insulting to the intelligence and self control of both parties. Shouldn’t that friend of the opposite sex respect you regardless of if you are with someone or not and not make advances if you are not welcoming them? And should you, clearly respecting your partner, not welcome any advances made? Or are we all just inherently sexual beings with absolutely no self awareness and self control?

He turned his back to her so many times. So dangerous. Hope this was a lesson learned and he now knows criminals don’t all look like criminals. They can look like Niecy Nash just got back from the club.